when he’s being an a**.

I’m not gonna lie. I have had it up to here with a**holes. So, when one of my guy friends seemed to befriend me and start spending a lot of time with me, and even fooled half of our social circle into the fact that we were (or weren’t we?) dating…I enjoyed it. Yes. Maybe that means I was using him as much as he was using me. But I enjoyed the fact that a) if people thought I were dating said guy friend that it was a definite upgrade from my ex and b) if people thought I was dating said guy friend, maybe somehow that made me more special…and c) I liked his company and honestly could see me dating SAID GUY FRIEND (plus, did I mention, he’s cute?!).

SO when I realized said guy friend has THE worst taste in women, it completely killed the vibe. And it broke a little piece of my heart. So you are into the dumbest, skinniest, blondes? (No offense ladies…but really?!) Said guy friend has been a friend for over 3 years. On and off and on again for different reasons…but that time it was my birthday and he may (or may not?) have hooked up with someone who I consider to be a younger sister is reason enough why we never got real close. But, he was roommates with two of my favorite people…which was reason enough why we DID in fact get close. So when he started spending nights at my place…and in my bed…well I guess the line got, to say the least, blurry. And when every other friday turned into a night out of drinking, dancing, deep thoughts and flirtation…well I guess I thought maybe something more was there. I guess I thought maybe he would realize I am actually the one he wants. But I’m not dumb. Or skinny…And I’m a legit blonde…not the fake blonde type.

So since he’s spoken all of 5 words to me in the last 3 days, I guess I see where I stand. And since I know I come nothing close to his standards, I will pretend to not care. But the thing is. I am what he wants. I am the right choice. But in all honestly, he doesn’t deserve me. And I should never talk to him for treating me like I now don’t exist…but really, I should have been smarter and known better and never trusted him.

And for that…I refuse to be effected. I’m sorry but eff you. If you’ve been in fact using me to get what you want from other people or waste your time, then karma has something coming at you. That’s not what friends are. I expected so much more from you, and can honestly say I’m actually disappointed in who you’ve turned out to be. And that’s all I can say for now, but it hurts my heart to know you might have used me…

xox.

 

 

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